Deputy Barney Fife: [Andy Taylor & Barney Fife sang together, as song was concluding, while Andy Taylor and Jim Lindsey played their guitars, together] Ridin' on that new river train. Aunt Bee Taylor: Oh, Dr. Breen, your sermon has such a wonderful lesson for us. Barney Fife: Gun-drawing practice, ten minutes every day. Opie Taylor: Aw Pa, just a little while longer... please? Andy Taylor: Yeah, it's "i before e except after c and e before n in chicken". Goober Pyle: [Climactic eruption] Gilly, you can't drive a car fast all the time - you gotta take her slow every now and then! Why, even if I weren't a policeman, I would still arrest you for making a illegal U-turn... any person can do that, you know... it's called a citizen's arrest. [Ernest T. Bass has crashed Mrs. Wily's party]. Repeat! Charlene's the one I want to talk to! Briscoe Darling: [to Andy] He one of ours? but this badge represents a lot of people. Same old train that brought me here. Bobby Fleet: That's just what I mean. [Sheriff Taylor walks away] . He's a strange one. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Ernest T. I know how important it is to ya to get a girl. Aunt Bee Taylor: Oh? Barney Fife: Yep, that's the plan. Andy Taylor: [telling Opie and his friends the story of Paul Revere] And he said, "The British is comin, the British is comin! Want to hear me do Cary Grant? Ernest T. Bass: I know. Goober Pyle: Are you sayin' I don't like music? Ernest T. Bass: How do you do Mrs. Wi-i-ley? Sheriff Andy Taylor: [menacingly backing Goober up against the gun case] Now Goober, I'm gonna run on home, because if I don't, I'm liable to start hollerin'. Heartaches!”, “Barney, you want my honest opinion? I'm not going to pay it. After all, he is one of my own kind. Ernest T. Bass: I've tried courtin' Hog Winslow's daughter; Hogette. No hick Sheriff is going to bleed me. Now, look Sheriff, there's no reason to get hot over the collar for this. Barney Fife: Yeah, well, today's eight-year-olds are tomorrow's teenagers. Barney Fife: Gentlemen, I give you science in action. PFC Dudley A. Rub your nose and give two winks and save us from this awful jinx. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well yes you are, too... [Just after Sheriff Andy Taylor arrested Jim Lindsey, they practiced playing guitars of same rhythm and song]. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Now, here, here is a map of the United States. Deputy Barney Fife: [as seductive as a nervous little guy can be] Let's you and me dance. Briscoe Darling: Ernest T. Bass! All rights reserved. Aunt Bee Taylor: Did you like the white beans you had for supper? No, I wouldn't just rather call Thelma Lou back! Briscoe Darling: Ever since I saw a hangin', I been nervous about wearin' one of these things. [Andy Taylor & Jim Lindsey play guitar instrumental, together]. Free Daily Quotes. Barney Fife: I'm gonna' go home, have me a little nap, and then go over to Thelma Lou's and watch a little TV. Goober Pyle: I take off on Cary Grant. Who's going to the auto show, Andy? Judy. That ain't gonna be easy to find, ya know. Deputy Barney Fife: I'm not crazy about it but it don't bother me. It's not a whim anymore if you put on clean underwear! Heck, I can't do William Holden; he sounds like everybody else. Can't love one and have fun. The first rule is... Obey all rules. Judy. If you believe that any Site Content infringes upon your copyright, please notify us by email support@quotecatalog.com. Barney Fife: [angry] Oh, boy, you're just full of fun today, aren't ya? Dud Wash: Aww, he's a pestilence and a pestilence will find *you*... you just wait. Mr. Briscoe Darling: [to Barney] More power to ya. [shouts] Do it! You know there ain't been a major crime committed in this town thanks to Sheriff Taylor? You're breakin' the law, and so I, as a responsible person, need to arrest you! Sheriff Andy Taylor: [Addressing the Darling boys after meeting their newborn niece] You boys must be pretty proud to be uncles? Andy Taylor: That's real good, Goober; but Cary Grant wasn't in 'Picnic'. Sheriff Andy Taylor: You said it was in tip-top shape. Just watch. First off I wrote her a love note asking her to go on out with me. Deputy Barney Fife: [Andy Taylor and Barney Fife, sang together] Ridin' on that new river train. Memorize them so that you can say them in your sleep. Goober Pyle: Well, you want to know where it's at? Why, that's $50. You hand 'em over - I can put on my OWN pants! You're the best guitar player I ever heard. You've got yourself a clogged fuel line... Sheriff Andy Taylor: How'd you know that? What? Judy. Briscoe Darling: Stop that, boy! Say you'll be my beloved! Ernest T. Bass: Couldn't. No, they say. [snapping fingers in rhythm] "A cappella, a cappella"... Well, I don't remember all the words. I'm armed and if you don't go home, I might just take a shot at you [another rock come flying through the window], Barney Fife: Stop that! Maude has Sally and Naomi move to a wall away from the windows saying she'll handle it] I hope she knows what she's doing. Now, oh, how would you and your nice fine deputy here like to come and see us, huh? You try to bring two people together and what do you get? Why don't we go up to the old people's home and wax the steps? Charlene Darling Wash: Aw, Dud, that makes me cry. Wally: Uh-huh, uh-huh. Otis was drunk. We got other things to do. "Let's invite Andy and Elly!" Barney Fife: [about Briscoe's decision not to kill Ernest T] It's a wise man who knows not to push the limits of the law. I could give you a lot more. All rights reserved. Deputy Barney Fife: Gomer, I have to uphold the law, no matter what! Barney Fife: I couldn't give him the test last night! Briscoe Darling: Stop that, boy! Now the United States is bounded on the north by Canada, on the south by Mexico, on the east by the Atlantic Ocean, and on the west by - uh, would, uh, you happen to know that? Me, I never do. Why don't we go up to the old people's home and wax the steps? Aunt Bee Taylor: You know, your education was worth every penny of it. Rummage Sale Customer: I always wanted one. We don't know everything, Andy. Briscoe Darling: He might. Briscoe Darling: [serenading Aunt Bee] Low and lonely, sad and blue / Thinking only, of little you / Always tryin', to keep from cryin' / I'm low and lonely over you. You've outsmarted justice and you've made a mockery of this court, and you've turned three people against me that I would have sworn would never leave my side. Now, are you gonna get movin'?”, “That poor, blind fool. Deputy Barney Fife: Glad to! You stood right there and blew it. Barney Fife: [Walks in wearing helmet, leather gloves, and a leather jacket] Mounted patrol checking in. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, would it kill the whim if I just take a shower and put on some clean socks and underwear? Besides, it was something they could use. A Townsman: [Talking about the sidecar] Sheriff, if you fill it up with water you can take a bath on the way. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Now I'm warning you, if you throw one more rock... Ernest T. Bass: I promise you Sheriff, I won't throw one more rock. Judy. How'd you get outta jail? Dud Wash: I couldn't find him, Mr. Darlin'. Barney Fife: [Andy & Barney have just been called to calm the Boone's] Now Jenny, you put that cup down! We'll fix him up with a diploma and everything. Try to control them hot flashes. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Look at him go. That one makes me cry! Sheriff Andy Taylor: Deputy, lock up the prisoners. French name. Briscoe Darling: [Agreeing with Andy to play another song] All right, uh, how 'bout "Boil Them Cabbage Down"! If you believe that any Site Content infringes upon your copyright, please notify us by email support@quotecatalog.com. Barney Fife: [to Andy] Well, if it ain't daddy long legs! Sheriff Andy Taylor: No. [writing] Knowledge is the tool of life. Charlene Darling: No, Paw, That one makes me cry! You made an illegal u-turn YOURSELF! Charlene Darling Wash: Oh that one makes you cry, Pa! Andy Taylor: Floyd, what do you know about whiplash? Well, no he don't. Come over to the house and stay with me and Opie and Aunt Bee for a few days. [Another rock hits the window]. I'll arrest you for bein' a disorderly corpse.”. If you're still here on Friday, which is the day after Thursday, I'll WHOOP the fire outta you. Oh my daring/oh my daring/ oh my daring Barney Fife/He's a deadly crime stopper/what a copper Barney Fife. But Fife was tricky/a deadeye dickie/now they're locked up in the tank.... Andy Taylor: ...Oh my Barney/Oh my Barney/had a jail but couldn't lock it/had one bullet for his pistol/had to keep it in his pocket. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Alright, I'll go get screws and put 'em in Asa's gun. Your notice should include (a) a description of the copyrighted work that you claim has been infringed; (b) the URL where the allegedly infringing Site Content is located; (c) your full name, postal address, telephone number, and email address; (d) a statement that you have a good faith belief that the use of the allegedly infringing material on our Sites is not authorized; (e) your physical or electronic signature; and (f) a statement that you are the copyright owner or an authorized agent of the copyright owner. It's only what any responsible person should do. [Andy then banged gavel, closing the case]. I don't wanna burn myself out. Did you ever hear the Raleigh Philharmonic? Barney Fife: Gomer, get down there with them spiders and start workin'! Newton Munroe: Sheriff, you gave me the confidence I needed! No, Sarah, I wouldn't rather talk to Juanita at the diner; just get Thelma Lou. It's at the convention hall all weekend. Opie Taylor: Aw, rats! [Moves the mic to his own chest] See, ain't that somethin'? Andy Taylor: [to Emmett] You blew it. And looka there - they're the right length and everything. The hamburgers are burnin'! Then it ran smooth again, then another ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Deputy Barney Fife: Four years Asa's been walkin' around without any screws in his gun. You're keepin' 'em awake! Andy Taylor: Didn't anybody try to stop him? Sheriff Andy Taylor: [while Andy Taylor and Jim Linsey played guitars. Forget the part about the half a boy. Andy Taylor: [find Aunt Bee obviously "tiddly", then finding a 2/3 empty bottle of "Colonel Harvey's Elixir" in the hall closet] Well, it sure looks like she took the adult dose. Andy Taylor: [on the phone] If you don't want magazine subscriptions or your septic tank pumped out, there's a sign you can get that says no peddlers or agents. Goober Pyle: He wasn't? Speaking of picnics, you remember that movie 'Picnic'? STANDS4 LLC, 2020. There's Andy, and there's me, and [patting gun] baby makes three. Sheriff Taylor to his Aunt Bee when she has a broken down freezer full of 150 pounds of beef. Deputy Barney Fife: In civies I'm a little hard looking. [He does, however, end up crying during the song]. All right, let's move it along! Opie Taylor To Andy Quotes.

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